


Crown Me King

by cry_hard_bitch



Category: ConutryHumans Fandom, CountryHumans, Fandom (Anthropomorphic), Geography (Anthropomorphic)
Genre: Author doesn't condole any actions in this book, CountryHumans - Freeform, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, F/F, F/M, Gay, HOMIEsexual, I'm going to soo regret this later, Italian Mafia, M/M, Mafia AU, Multi, Police, Russian Mafia, Two Japans AU, it's all gay I swear, mafia, mafia violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:08:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26831170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cry_hard_bitch/pseuds/cry_hard_bitch
Summary: "No me importa quién seas. Si te metes con mi familia, te dan los cuernos."Whoever you are, look out, they're all around you. The people you smile at in the streets, even the ones you swore to, they're all around you. You might not even realise it, but they still live, as they have for centuries longer than your life, and longer than human civilisation itself. Some have passed, others have stayed. Either being there to see how we crumble our own humanity, or for the drinks and fun of it. They all live in the shadows, guns ready, blazing before you end up on their doorstep. People call them demons, enchanting and depurifying those once innocent. But hell is empty and the devils live among. They call them prawns, working for their king with undying faith. But this isn't a book about the perfect life. No, my dear this is about life, and life comes with many tragedies as well as fortune.. But very little may I sayYou will see the lives of each of these countries through words on a screen. See them die, live, drink fight and cry. Sometimes it's good to open your mind, and close your eyes, only to imagine. What it was like. to be real?  Well, in the life of kings and pawns, it's what has crowned them as rulers in hell
Relationships: Currently undecided
Kudos: 8





	1. Warning Bit (blah, blah, blah)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know man, enjoy. 
> 
> This is my first time on Archive, so apologies in advance to both my future self and you guys.

_Letting people know that this book is not to be reposted anywhere on any site. (Unless it is truly my account.) However, if I find this on a subreddit of sorts. I will report both you and the post. I have asked you once politely and I will do so again less gently if you decide to continue on with reposting my shit._

_Short version is at the bottom._

_\------_

_Hey ya! For whatever reason, you have clicked on this book._

S _o I thank you for that._

_Second, I'm deeply concerned why you are here. But that's another block of text that I don't want to write._

_To cut it short. If you_ **_dislike_ ** _the following,_

_I heavily suggest you click off now! Why? Well, dear me! You don't have to read this! You can go and read another book, How about it? I take the piss out of everything, sorry._

-

_List of certain things (but isn't limited to) this book may contain:_

_\- Violence._

_(gory stuff, like blood, guns, knives, detailed scenes of death or being injured.) Y'know shit that can kill you? Yeah, those._

_I DO NOT SUPPORT VIOLENCE OR ABUSE IN ANY WAY._

_I have many friends and people in my life who have gone through types of abuse. And it sucked (yes, I know I should use a more descriptive word: I'm sorry.) Have my full sympathy if you are an abuse survivor. If you are in an abusive relationship. Please try to get help through hotlines or school counsellors._

_\- Possible Sexual Scenes._

_All characters are over the age of consent (16+) Unless said otherwise. I will warn you multiple times (including the start. When they start flirting shit like that. And the actual scene. Three times is enough. I'll also pinpoint when the scene ends. If it's at the end, I'll just say.)_

_\- Strong Language._

_Dude. Basically 99.99% of the time swearing will be involved._

-(related to strong language) _Use of slurs. This will be more to (known) homophobic/sexist countries._

_(I write homophobic countries as homophobic. Like dude, just letting you know, man. I'M NOT TRYING TO STEREOTYPE THESE COUNTRIES AS ALL OF THERE PEOPLE ARE HOMOPHOBIC/SEXIST OR WHAT EVER.)_

_I believe there is good in anyone, and I apologize if what I write offends you. If I offend you just comment on the piece of text. Please have a good reason, and please be polite when telling me what offends you._

_\- Romantic Relationships._

_Sorry about my fellow Countryhumaners who dislike (well, actually despise half the time.) Shipping in the ch community, so--_

_I'll try my hardest to get accurate ships. But I know you might as well hate it in the end. Shipping in this fandom basically is a powerful life force for a book or some shit like that._

_-Aanndd Countryhumans!_

_Dude, why are you here if you don't like countryhumans? istg, go watch YouTube or smth-_

_Remember, people! This is all fiction, I do not support any bad Ideology's (Nazism, Communism, violence, racism, guns, Sexism, Homophobia. Shit like that,) or other concerning things throughout this fictional story. None of what happens in this story never was or is based on anything._

_But! That doesn't mean that I won't base some things on WW one or two._

_I will put warnings/triggers at the start of each chapter if there is any offensive content that may offend someone. Please read them, or beware that content in this book may/may not offend you._

_There'll be gore (or violence) in the first chapter. Hopefully, I will include each country at least once throughout this story. No promises though._

\---

_**To cut it short!** _

_\- I do not support any bad ideologies._

_\- I do not support violence._

_\- This isn't an accurate depiction of police, or mafioso's._

_\- Please do not try to "get in" to the mafia. Or do anything illegal, for that matter._

_\- This is a Countryhumans Fanfic._

_\- Most of the time, shit will not be accurate. I apologise for that._ _Correct me on shit in chapters, please I will appreciate it._

_\- There will be mature themes here, so please.  
_ _I intended this book for 17+ if you aren't. I am technically not breaking anything because you clicked on here being under the age it's supposed to be targeted at._

_This is your own fault._

_I get uncomfy when I have 12 under year-old's on my books._

_-_ _Warnings will be at the top of the page of each chapter. There'll be romantic relationships (probably not until the next 3rd chapter or around there._ _But you know me, no promises.)_

_\- If you complain to someone or me about the book and how it had so and so (violence or a ship), and it's literally here on this warning chapter._

_(As well as the start of the chapter it was on) that it says that it will include what you had mentioned. You could've fucking avoided it duh._

_\----_

_This chapter is here to warn you about what is in the book._


	2. (Unofficial) Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unofficial information page.  
> Just to give you an insight on what Clans, Mafia families, Cartels, and Crime Families.

_Gangs/Group thingys:_ _(Bold_ _means children 16)_

_(some families are related, others are just gang members. Remember this.)_

(apologies if a country you hoped to be on here wasn’t. For some countries it could be that I have very, very little information on the country and it’s political/historic views. Or because I do not want them in my story due to certain  _current at the time_ events happening.)

_(most country gangs are either due to their so-called_ _“cannon_ _family’s” or their geographical placings_ _(like_ _east Asia, central Asia, western pacific, northern pacific. This isn’t politically correct, because I’m sorry but I’m not going to fully indulge myself in politics_ _(they_ _were never really my thing in the first place) How ever! If you're from a country, or know a lot about the country politically and their relations. And feel I have made a large or extreme mistake please point it out to me in dm’s! Please don’t be shy! Though I don’t want this book to completely evolve around politics. I want it to be at least a little accurate. Just so I don’t anger anyone. Plus if it angers you that much, please either point it out to me_ _(in_ _dms.) Or stop reading the book. Please and thanks.)_

(haha, I’m doing that stupid two Japan’s bullshit AU people do because I want a cop Japan- Grr)

##  _-Smith Family-_

_\- Britain_ _(don)_

_\- France_ _(Ex-Wife)_

_\- Spain_ _(Fiance_ _to Britain)_

_\- America/USA_ _(first_ _Heir)_

_\- Canada_ _(second_ _Heir)_

_New Zealand_ _(Third_ _Heir)_

_\- Australia_ _(Fourth_ _Heir)_

_\- Scotland_ _(Underboss)_

_\- Wales_ _(Consigliere)_

_\- N. Ireland_ _(Capo)_

##  _-Schmidt Family-_

First Reich  ("Retired Don")

Second Reich ("Retired Don")

Third Reich (“Retired Don”)

Germany (Boss/Don)

Poland (Consigliere)

Austria (Under Boss)

Belgium (Soldier)

Luxemburg (Capo)

##  _-Hóng yǎnjīng Family-_

(They aren’t related and frankly, some hate being a “worker” for China. 

This isn’t a politically accurate story. And I’m sorry for those who were looking for something like that. But this isn’t the place.)

_\- China_ _(Don)_

_\- Japan_ _(Daughter_ _of China, please don’t kill me)_

_\- North Korea_ _(Under_ _boss)_

_\- Vietnam_ _(consigliere)_

_\- Thailand_ _(Capo)_

_\- Laos_ _(Capo)_

_\- Singapore_ _(Capo)_

_\- Malaysia_ _(Capo)_

_\- Philippines_ _(Capo)_

_\- Cambodia_ _(Capo)_

_\- Myanmar_ _(Soldier)_

_\- East timor_ _(Soldier)_

_\- Indonesia_ _(Soldier)_

_\- Mongolia_ _(Soldier)_

##  _-Kahale Family -_

-Maori (disappeared/diseased don)

_(SOUTH TERRITORY)_

\- Fiji (South underboss) 

\-  **New Caledonia** (first heir)

\- Solomon Islands (Capo)

\- Cook islands (Capo)

\- Tonga (Capo)

\- Papua New Guinea (Capo)

\- Tuvalu (Soldier)

\- Vanuatu (Soldier

\- Niue (Soldier)

\-  **American Samoa** **(Associate)**

\- Tokelau (Soldier)

_(WESTERN TERRITORY)-_

Samoa ( **Western** **underboss** )

\- Federated States of micronesia (Capo)

\- Guam (Soldier)

\- Palau (Soldier)

_(CENTRAL TERRITORY)_

\- Kiribati (Soldier

\- Marshall Islands (Capo)

_(NORTHERN TERRITORY)_

\- Samoa. (Underboss)

\- Easter Island (Capo)

\- Nauru (Soldier)

=====

##  _\- Лебедев_ _(Lebedev)_ _Crime Family-_

_(Apologizes if any of this seems off, or you dislike or are uncomfortable with the idea as Ussr being a_ _‘father’_ _to these countries. If it makes you feel better, he isn’t going to be a great father or uwu ussr. Though this isn’t reassuring, my writing skills are shit when it comes to abusive, aggressive, and/or_ _“bad”_ _parents(?)_

_(most will be adopted, but Belarus, Russia, Ukraine, will stay_ _“blood-related”)_

Russian Empire (retired Don— missing and/or deceased)

Ussr (post-retired Don)

Russia (First heir)

Ukraine (Second Heir)

Belarus (Third heir)

Georgia (Soldier)

Azerbaijan (Capo)

Kazakhstan (Soldier)

Latvia (Soldier)

Lithuania (Soldier)

Estonia (Capo)

Uzbekistan (Capo)

Turkmenistan (Soldier)

Tajikistan (Soldier)

Kyrgyzstan (Soldier)

====

##  _-Ali Clan-_

Ancient Egypt (Boss)

Egypt (Under Boss)

Libya

Sudan

Morocco

Western Sahara

Mali

Algeria

Dem. Rep. of Congo

Namibia

Madagascar 

Kenya

Ethiopia

Zanzibar

Somalia

Cote D’ivorie

Sierra Leone

=====

##  _-Jahandar Clan-_

Iran (Leader)

Iraq 

Afghanistan 

Pakistan 

Lebanon 

Israel 

Jordan 

Saudi Arabia 

====

##  _-Lopez Cartel-_

Spain (Leader)

Portugal 

Mexico 

Argentina 

Bolivia 

Brazil 

Ecuador 

Venezuela 

Colombia 

Chile 

Guatemala 

Costa Rica 

====

##  -Aksoy Clan-

Turkey (Leader)

Greece

Bulgaria 

Romania

Serbia

====

##  -Askelson Clan-

Finland

Sweden

Norway

Greenland

Iceland

Denmark

Faroe

Aland

Antarctica

====

##  Cops-

\- **Hawaii** (In training)

-America (Cop)

-Switzerland (Detective)

-Japan (In training under America’s supervision)

-England (Chief)

-Scotland (Crime scene Investigator)

-Ireland (Partners with Scotland)

Sincerely yours,

The Man Behind The Slaughter~


	3. The Fun Bit (Chapter 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Actual fucking story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHHA INTRODUCTION TO NORTH KOREA AND CHINA GO WOOSSSH

The room was almost pitch black except for the two chairs that sat face to face under a bare light bulb that hung from the ceiling. One scrawny looking entity sat on one chair. Male, don't even look a day over 30, honey blonde hair that was greasy with dirt and grime. Small panicked breaths escaped his mouth. Bound to a chair by metallic cuffs, his eyes blinded by the lightbulb overhead.

The man moved and twisted in the old rickety chair. Making it screech and scream on the concrete floor. Loud enough that the man didn't hear the soft whistle of a calming lull that might even make a howler monkey doze off to sleep. "Where am I? What is this? Let-let me go!" The man's voice only made the whistling man's smile turn into a wide, taunting grin.

"Good to see you awake..." His voice echoed, seeming more goading than when it was originally produced. "Let me go! I did nothing-" The man's panicked voice faltered when he heard the sharp tuts come from the man.

"Oh, but you did... You see, I work for very, _very_ powerful people. And they don't need little cockroaches like you scuttling around and spreading information... important, _fragile_ information." The man's voice seemed to pause every time the man took a step closer. "pl-please," The man started, his voice less loud and demanding, more of a scared child lost at the mall.

"I'll do anything, I'll pay you, how much you want just _please_ let me go." The begs were music to the man's ears. Silently stepping forward carefully to not let the heel of his boots make a sound. Now crouched in front of the man, who now had tears rolling down his cheeks. The man scoffed, "Already? You're pathetic. I haven't even started threatening you and you're already crying like a little girl."

The man sighed, standing up straight. Not saying a word or a sound turned the man's head that was locked, looking at the ground up so it looked straight.

"Wh-what?" The man looked up, through lugubrious tears he could see his loved one. The man's eyes widened and twisted and pull at his restraints more and more. "Don't you dare hurt her! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"

The man sighed tutting sharply once more. "Who do you work for?" The man asked simply in a calm and no longer taunting voice. Circling himself behind the man, keeping his hand draped on the back of the wooden chair. "I don't work for anyone just let us go!" // "Us?" The man mused at the word, repeating it with a more mocking tone before stopping.

"None of you will be breathing outside air, if you don't answer my questions." The man crouched in front of him. It was none other than the North Korean. _The_ under boss to one of the most wealthy and dangerous mafioso.

"Now." North pulled out a rather large pistol and pointed it at him lazily. "Who do you work for?""I told you, I don't work for anyone! I don't want to get mixed up in that shit man,""We have evidence of you sneaking around some of our most important buildings, which are also our most highly protected. And you want to tell _me._ You work for no one?" The Korean sighed angrily. Standing up again, the man left a sigh of relief, hanging his head once more.

"Well, if I can't make you talk, then she sure will." North mused, taking off the blindfold and cloth gag that was in her mouth. She let in a gasp of air, drool and snot visible on her cheeks and chin. "Dad, dad, I-I-I'm scared." The girl gasped sobbing leaning forward pulling at the cuffs that bound her to the chair.

"Baby, it's okay I know you're scared, just breathe baby, breathe" The man pleaded, North only hummed softly as he circled the girl again. Putting the gun away, he pulled out a stranger tool. It looked similar to a gun, but didn't have a cartridge to hold any pistols. The communist giggled, tilting his head so that he got a view of the girl's snort ridden face.

"Listen to your father Rosy, Just. Breathe." North said the last words like an annoying taunt. Smiling wickedly in the girl's face, The girl shied away from the threatening face shaking her head breathing through her nostrils that flare up in disgust.

"So, Jonny, do you think your little girl here could take the 6 inches~?" He purred directed at the man but his mouth pressed against the girls- Rosy ear making sure she could hear every syllable. Jonny sat there silently, staring intensely at the floor. North recited his name in an intoxicating tone. Making the man's head spin in anger.

"Don't you fucking touch her." He sneered under his breath. His hands were in tight fists, his face scrunched to make it look as neutral as possible. Only give away to how he was feeling was his eyes that seemed to be swallowed in a growing resentment of vexing anger.

North sighed, "I really didn't want to do this. Your daughter has such a beautiful face too. So I'll give you one last chance. Who do you work for?" The question turned out to be more of a demand, "I-I-I told you I don't know-w" The man choked, no longer feeling the fire of anger he felt before that seemed to ignite his soul.

North sighed, tapping his clothed leather fingers tap against the wooden chair Jonny's precious little girl sat on. Tapping his foot impatiently. Breathing a little more pissed, as his body signals seemed to move from demanding and calm, to annoyed and impatient.

"I'm very disappointed in you, _Johnny._ " He spat, raising the bolt pistol to the girl's head. "NO! PLEASE DON'T HURT HER PLEASE!" North scoffed, trying to find the most appealing spot for the cattle killer he held in his hands. Sighing, taking the pistol off the girl's head who was silently sobbing.

"You wanna know what gets my blood running?" North asked, obviously rhetorical. But the silence was left far too long for it to be. "When men like you who think they're better than me, are begging at my feet for mercy. Like the stupid American dog they are." He paused. "And sometimes, it gets too... desolate..." The silence continued, except for the soft sobs of John's daughter.

"And then you need to find new fun, or a new rush. Something little has done, a blood rush that makes you feel _alive_. Like when your stomach rises when you sky dive. Or whatever you junkie westerners do for fun." He paused, thinking to himself. "Y-y-ou-you're s-s-ick." The man choked."Aren't we all? Those who drift from normal? Sick? Crazy? I could damn well show you crazy if you wanted."

"Y-your a psycho bitch." He spat, hands going back into tight fists. The Korean growled, sighing. "Would you like to say your prayers to your daughter? Before we send her off to nirvana?"// "Please, just don't kill her, I beg..." North smiled, chuckling to himself. 

"Your right, I won't kill her. You will." If the man's heart hadn't sunk before it would've sunken now.

"Don't cry, I pray you two will see each other soon." North made his way up to the man, placing the actual pistol in his hands. North aimed it at the girl who was sobbing, staring right into the man's soul.

"Just... Pull the trigger, simple." The man let out a small whine of protest when north stepped behind him. The man couldn't take it anymore, it felt like time had slowed down to where second felt like hours. He pointed the pistol upwards, far away from where it aimed at the girl. Pulling the trigger.

* _click_ *

The gun had no bullets. There were no bullets in the gun. He just tried to _kill_ himself. "I don't- I don't understand- I-" North scoffed.

"Of course you don't. You are clearly not wise enough to realize that that was your only daughter's escape out of this situation. You see, you know our little secret. And if we were to let you run free like Mary, you can spread valuable information. And we don't want that." He spat, taking the pistol from the man.

He shook his head. "I don't- underst-and." he gasped.

"And you shouldn't. Take the girl away." North ordered. Two other countries, one country, had a leather face mask, with small studs around the edges, and tears going straight through the middle bit of the mask. Making it look like the mouth of a beast. The other one had a harder one, most likely plastic, the middle of the mask where it's supposed to go over the nose went straight up, and had a large strap that went around the back of his headband, the knot covered by its hoodie. And four cut out lines going down. Both had a mempo mask style to it.

Dragging the struggling, crying girl away into the darkness that surrounded him. The man didn't even think of other people being in the same room as them. It made his ears prick at imaginary noises he thought he heard. "Don't you dare hurt her. I'll kill you." The man spat looking up from the ground pulling at his restaurants way more aggressively to the point where even the northern territory thought the man would break through.

North only smiled tightly, like the Asian receptionists that usually greeted you a little too compassionately. 

"You certainly are having an emotional rollercoaster there! Sad, begging. To being angry and threatening. No matter... soon you'll just be another lifeless corpse on the sidewalk..." North sighed, loading a small pistol he'd taken away from him before, sighing, aiming at his head.   
"이 이야기에는 좋은 결말이 없습니다. 내가 할 수있는 건 없지만 널 놓아 줘." (There is no good ending to this story. There is nothing I can do, but let you go.)

"Wait- what do you-" The man had no time to finish his sentence till a bullet pierced through his skull, leaving crimson blood to flow out of the hole, brain matter splattered on the other side of where the bullet entered, dripping onto the floor with a wet slap as small chunks fell to the floor.

North scrawled in disgust, hearing those wet slaps on the floor and the mess it made. He walked around to the frond of the dead corpse, grabbing on to the chin. No resistance, just what he likes. The body jerked suddenly, his right hand pulled side to side, before his legs kicked out weakly, hitting the North Korean. All this motion caused the dead corpse to make its head fall forward, staring right at the Korean. Wide dead eyes, all capturing the scene.

North shivered before standing up. Waving his hand, the two same countries took the body into the shadows of the room.

\----

North sighs, pushing past a heavy oak door as soft mellow music flows past the crack in the door. Slipping into the room with little attention brought to him. He looked around in his surroundings. People and countries mixed drinking at the lit up bar. People sat socializing in booths, others were more... touchy in the corner of the room, making North slightly ill-stomached. The countries consisting in the club were mostly Asian and southern European countries. As for the people, he couldn't make out their supposed ethnicities under the light that changed every few seconds.

The Korean continued forward. Going past the guard that guarded the country whom sat with girls at either side of him. Cigarette hanged out of his mouth as he smiled at the short country. Waving off the girls, who left begrudgingly.

"So?" He asked, waving a waitress over.  
"The problem has been sorted, but we must kill the girl later." China glanced up at the standing country, taking two glasses from the lady, before asking her to leave with a small smile. Before it dissipated into a frown.  
"What didn't you kill her then?" He growled, handing him a drink.  
"Didn't feel right. I wanted to get my fun before he died. Instead, I was given something.. Less interesting." The Northerner sighed as if they were talking about mundane tasks you'd do around the household.  
"Thank you for getting rid of him. Another wonderful contribution to your loyalty." North nodded, disliking the word "loyalty." It made him seem weak. But he only nodded and did not want the conversation to continue on.  
"Well, here's to another day, comrade." China said, raising his glass towards North Korea. North smiled tightly.

"Here's."


	4. Welcome to the Family (Chapter 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introduction to the British family,  
> America being embarrassing brother, and New Zealand being hoe.
> 
> Yes, very good chapter summary.

America trotted down the stairs of their families wide entrance. Mostly used for greeting guests for a party, or watching Britain and Spain slow dance to old songs that seemed to go on for hours. But now, it’s being used for America’s growing anxieties. Life as the only cop in a mafia family was quite a job.

But that had to be left at the front door for now. Right now, his major mission was the heavenly smells that came from the kitchen. America basically floated down the stairs, putting on his coat when he passed the coat rack. Since he knew that his father nor his siblings would be bothered to light the fire in the morning knowing they’d all be out the door by 11.

A small and rather vintage looking radio sat atop the counter blasting out old Australian classics. What America hoped to be his father, or at least his _step_ -father dressed in something casual. Was instead his younger brother Aussie belting his heart out to “Down Under” by _‘Men_ _At Work.’_ Only in his boxers and an apron.

“Morning’ Cuz!” Australia beamed, holding a spatula. That was sightly glazed with sausage grease. 

“Mornin’ “ America mumbled sitting down at the breakfast table going to charge his phone. America’s sense in hunger hadn’t fully left him after seeing his brother half-naked serving breakfast. But it certainly went down.

A loud ‘thump’ of familiar socks hitting a wooden floor was heard from outside, and then the exact same sound again. Australia only rolled his eyes and America quickly caught on that it was only New Zealand and not an intruder. The soft noise of shuffling on wood faded, the click of the door opening in hushed voice were exchanged before the shuffling closer to the living area. America raised his eyebrows, but said nothing, waiting for breakfast to be made.

“Yo.” Was all the Kiwi said before walking into the kitchen slouching, grabbing a rather large bottle of clear liquid before roughly placing it on the counter and sitting on a nearby stool. 

“I don’t think you should drink that,” America warned, only response was the classic annoying sibling mimic you’d get if you tried to boss you younger siblings. Wearing a large hoodie that went over his shorts, well America hoped he was wearing shorts.

“I can drink what I want. Your not my dad.” New Zealand mumbled, definitely not a morning person,

“Your only  _17_ don’t fuck up your kidney just yet.” America scolded like a father. 

“Damn, you ain’t my dad, but you sure as hell sound like him. What happened to that whole ‘rebellious, I hate my dad, and I have daddy issues’ Ame, I liked him.” Zea pouted playfully.

America smiled, shaking his head. Scuffing up his younger brother’s hair up.

“Hey! I just fixed that!” Zea swatted his hand away now having multiple cow licks in his hair. Australia cackled seeing the mess Zea’s hair was in.

“Your related to one Maori, and now your fucking hair is a hassle every fucking day.” Zea hissed under his breath pulling the hood over his hair sighing angrily. Reaching for the bottle the American snatch away from him.

“Nope, your not having any of this until your 18. That’s when I’ll throw you an actually party.” America pledged, keeping the bottle out of his reach.

“Ass.” Was all Ze mumbled before slumping on the stool groaning.

Fine then, change of topic.” Canada said stumbling and falling, out of the cabinet. 

“How in the living hell-” Aussie started, before getting a finger pushed up against his lips by Canada. 

“Shh, shh, shushh, as wonderful as my beautiful ears are.” Canada slurred, gesturing to his ears. Obviously intoxicated because of something. Canada turned to Zea and pointed an lazy accusing finger at him. 

“I heard voices-” // “That’s not surprising,’ America interrupted, earning him the look of ‘I’m speaking man, shut the fuck up’ look from Canada. 

“When you walked- well jumped- down the stairs… Wanna tell me who’s your new Juliet? Or Romeo, I don’t discriminate.” Canada blurted. Causing everyone to go into sibling mode.

A de-harmonized chorus of ‘ooos’ went through the room. As Zea slowly died where he sat. 

“My little brothers got partner!” America squealed like a child. New Zealand groaned louder, keeping his face covered.

“I thought we were going to be single buddy’s!” Canada slurred loudly pouting. America picked up the smallest country and twisted him around.

“I’m so going to be your best man at you Marriage!” Australia jeered. New Zealand on the other hand is fucking  _dying._

_“_ Oh my god, stop, pleasse.” He groaned, being squeezed by the largest’s country’s arms. Putting him down, Australia messed up his hair again. 

“So who’s the unlucky drongo who decided to date ya?” Aussie snorted.

“Or is it just a friends with benefits sorta thing?” America asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Zea only hissing out a desperate, ‘ _oh_ _my god, why._ ’ Canada gasped.

“Our youngest brother! So innocent and pure! Losing his v-card!? How preposterous!!” Canada yelled out in a sarcastic, shocked voice.

“What’s this?” A tired, strong English accent went through the girly excitement the boys were going through. The British man was only in his dressing gown, his short at the back hair and two long strands at the front seemed tattered and messy. 

“New Zealand’s lost his-”// “Phone! I lost my phone again- that’s all-” New Zealand interrupted Australia by both being louder and covering Aus’s mouth. Poor plan. Australia licked his hand causing the boy to shriek and worm himself out of America’s arms only to tackle the Aussie to the floor. Pulling of hair and unearthly screaming continued shortly after until America broke the two up. Canada was only edging them on to continue fighting.

“Well, then…” Britain said breathlessly quiet. “Whats for breakfast?” The Gaelic country asked. Turning to the stove. 

“Sausages and eggs!” Australia chimed, getting out of his brother’s grip. 

“… Or what were sausages…” Britain frowned, looking down at the pan of black charred sausages. Picking up the pan to put it in the trash.

New Zealand got out of the American’s grip, snatching the alcoholic bottle again. Running out of the room with it. America sighed frustrated but sat down at the bench scrolling through his phone. Canada sat next to him, slouching against him. “Oh mon Dieu, our youngest brother… He’s growing up too fast.” Canada slurred, giggling. America nodded in short unison.

“Maybe he’ll move out before Australia. Knowing him, he’ll probably do what I did.” Meri mumbled, grabbing the OJ that was on the bench. Canada hummed, chuckling.

“What? Run away, live on the street before begging your uncle to give him a job as a cop?” America tilted his head back to laugh.

“Ha! Probably that, but more thought out. He’s a smart kid he’ll figure it out himself.” Canada smiled, exhaling.

“Oui, let’s hope he’s going down the rightest path a son of a mafia boss could go down.” Canada murmured, sitting upright when Britain set out a plate of new sausages, scrambled eggs and glass where he could pour himself a drink.

“Alabado sea el senor, amén.” America giggled, sipping the orange juice from the bottle. A quiet _ew_ came from Canada. America looked up to see Spain hugging Britain from behind, being all lovely dovey as old couples are. (Haha no.) All three of the brother’s made simultaneous gagging noises. 

“Oh shush, your just jealous you don’t have a boyfriend that can actually put up with you three.” Spain jeered, kissing Britain’s neck before going snatch Britain’s toast that had scrambled eggs on it.

“Barely put up with.” Britain corrected, rolling his eyes. Eating the toast out of the Spanish’s hand. Britain growled, kissing the Spain on the lips.

“Please don’t start that here with the child here.” America cut in on the scene. Spain only smiled at the larger country. Britain shook his head, sighing.

“I’ve got to be off. Have fun,” The New world country said grabbing his keys, charged and phone leaving with a small wave as he walked off. Into the entrance room, pulling on his work boots on. Shoving his phone into his back pocket, and his keys into a separate pocket. 

“I’m hitchhiking with you.” New Zealand called out. Jogging over with his shoes already on, opening the door for his brother. 

“And why should I give you a ride?” America asked, walking through the door that was held open for him. “Because.” New Zealand started, continuing to follow the other until he jogged past him, bumping against him slightly before leaning against the door. “You can’t drive without keys.” Ze grinned cheekily, dangling the keys to America’s from his finger. The Land of Liberty sighed, taking the keys. 

“Fine, where are we heading?” Zea only smiled and got in the car. “Just go to the police station, I’ve got some shit to do there again.” Zed mumbled, putting on his seat belt. America rolled his eyes, grinning.

“Or someone perhaps?” America teased, Zea groaned, hanging his head. “Come on, it’s me, your brother. You can tell me anything. Especially for tips.” America continued to dog. Zea crossed his arms and legs on the seat, sighing. 

“Tips on what exactly?” He hissed pointedly.

“Well, a lot of things really… Dealing with heartbreak, dating tips, pickup lines.” America grinned, elbowing Aotearoa.

“Wehi nu… Hell no. I’m definitely not asking you for  _pick up lines._ Plus, he isn’t like that-” Zea covered his mouth quickly, blushing, swearing under his breath.

“So you’re gay?” America asked. The low rumble of the car engine played as the Land of The Long White Cloud continued to stay silent, staring out the window. 

“You don’t have to say anything. I’ll respect you when the time comes for when your ready to come out to everyone.” Zea sighed, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“I don’t know,  _exactly._ ” Was all he said. Silence continued again. America thinking of what to say next.

“You can tell me when you figure it out. I’ll support you however I can.” America saw Zea nod from the corner from his eye. He smiled. 

“Enough of this mopey shit! Tell me about you future fiance, and how you’ll guarantee that I’ll be you best man at your wedding!” 

Zea grin grew into a smile, “Geez, he makes you that giddy? He must be a keeper-” // “Oh my god shush!” America laughed. Stopping at a red light.

Zea sighed, still smiling like an idiot. “He’s funny, strong, cool headed, surprisingly nice and good-natured even if he doesn’t look like it-” // “And a good person to get di-” America jeered.

“OH MY GOD! NO! YOUR SUCH AN ASS!” Zea said aggressively, punching and slapping the elder’s arm, who only cackled loudly.

They pulled into an underground parking area. He showed the man his police badge, and they drove on through. Zea got out first covering his face groaning while hitting his head on the car roof.

“Come on, it’s not  _that bad._ ” America started, once he’d opened his door and started getting out before closing his door and locking it. 

“It is when you make so many sex jokes!!” Zea shrieked, banging his head harder.

“Hey come on you’ll dent my car.” America snorted, putting a hand in front of New Zealand’s head. 

Zea only pushed himself into the American’s hand for no apparent reason.

“No need to go Alabama on me man, I’m your brother after all.” America blurted.

“Half-brother, and eww.” Zea hummed. “I’m just tired is all.”

America rolled his eyes. Wrapping an arm around Zea as he started to walk off to the elevator. 

“Half brother’s don’t count- I think. Plus, you can always invite me to a session with your boyfriend,” America said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Oh, my god! Your my fucking brother! Your a fucking cop! That’s just ew!” Zea exclaimed quickly getting out from under his brother’s arm.

“Misusing authority are we land-o liberty?” Zea and America looked over their shoulders to see the 

broad shouldered middle height man behind them.

“Uncle Scot!” Zea exclaimed, hugging him. 

“Nice to see you Aus.” Scotland teased ruffling his hair. Zea groaned again pulling his hood over his head.

“God, are all cops assholes?” Zea joked, standing up right.

“Only the ones in the family.” Scotland replied, pressing the down button on the elevator.

“Yeah, point proven. How’s things with Ireland?” Zea asked, walking into the elevator as soon as the door’s opened. 

“Yeah, the usual impulsive self. But you can’t change that.” Scotland said, pressing two different buttons on the elevator before the doors started to close. 

“Hey! Hold the door!” A voice said Scotland quickly reached for the elevator, and pushed the door open with one hand. A small woman jogged through holding a mess of papers clutched to her chest. Scotland let go of the elevator’s door and let it close this time. The small compact room stayed in silence.

All three of the men looked the girl over, America found her eerily familiar. New Zealand knew exactly who she was just because of her flag.

“Hey that new recruit from the police academy.” Scotland noted, she nodded. “Wasn’t there only three recruits that got through this year? Damn, they must be upping the standards ten fold again.” Scotland chuckled to himself shaking his head checking his phone.

“Next thing you know, they’ll be as good as America.” Zea joked, elbowing his elder brother.

“As if. There’s some things you just can’t learn from academy. Practicals are always the best way to go.” America shook his head, looking down at his phone.

Fortunately, the elevator soon stopped and the group of four all went their separate ways. The girl towards the police chief’s office, America to his office, Scotland to the detective apartment. And New Zealand well slipped away somewhere. No one knows where.

America strolled down the hallway, hands in his pockets. Waving or saying a polite ‘hey’ to both cops and civilians in the building (mostly girls, but we don’t talk about that.) 

“America get your Alco arse over here!” An Irish accent thundered down the hallway. America looked up seeing two Malinois dogs, one Dutch Shepherd’s, and a grey spotted white Greyhound dogs all galloping towards the larger male… And an Irish man jogging after the four dogs.

“Mis bebés! Aw I missed you four so much!” The American swooned over the four dogs. Not really caring if he made a scene. 

The four dogs licked and surrounded the American. And the Irish man left breathless, bending over his knees. 

“I… Am never… Walking your dogs…” Ireland wheezed, coughing. “ _Again._ ” Ireland finished coughing again. 

“Come on, you need the exercise. Not like eating junk food all day is doing any good for you.” America said poking the Irish man’s gut.

“Hey man, girls like chubby men.” Ireland said with the reassurance of a cocksure goose.

“Yeah, more like guys, like chubby men. When was the last time you even had sex with a girl?” America asked, Ireland only groaned in response. “Well, that’s an answer in itself.” America concluded with an enormous smile, hugging two of the dogs who turned their heads left and right, trying to kiss their beloved owner.

“America!” Another English voice called down the hallway. “Ireland.” It was England leaning out from his office door. The Irish man chuckled awkwardly, perking a small wave. America rolled his eyes at Ireland. 

“Quit acting like a schoolgirl and maybe he would actually hit you up.” America teased, Ireland rolled his eyes. 

“Like you’d know anything.” Ireland scoffed quietly. 

“America come to my office.” England spoke down the hallway again, going back into his office closing the door behind him.

“Right,” America began grunting as he stood up. “Duty calls me.” America said waving Ireland, and his dogs that sat obediently at Ireland’s feet goodbye. 

“Hey! What about the dogs?!” Ireland yelled. 

“You can take care of them for a few more minutes!” America replied, jogging quickly getting away from the pissed Irish man.

“Asshole!” Ireland yelled back. Looking down at the dogs, he turned with a small scowl whistling for them to follow and went off to Scotland’s office for him to just drop them off there.

America continued down the hall till he was met with a door, frosted glass with bold see-through letters spelling ‘HEAD OF POLICE.’ He turned the doorknob without hesitation. Walking in, he saw the girl from before and England leaning against the desk. 

“America, nice of you to join us.” England said with a curt smile, head gesturing for him to close the door behind him. “As you know, this is a recruit from the north-east academy.” England nods to the girl. Who sat politely in the chair that was too big for her.

“Mornin’.” America said, nodding his head. 

“Good morning.” She said in a quiet tone, giving him a weak wave. America tilted his head towards England.

“So was there a reason you brought me here? Or did you just want to introduce me to the recruit?” America grinned, leaning against the English man’s bookcase that was messy with files, books, and most-likely criminal records he forgot to put back in the records room.

“Actually…” England said, swinging his head away from the American, looking at the girl again. Then looking back at America.

“She’s going to be your partner.” England sputtered out.

“Already? England its seems to sudden especially with South 2nd anniversary-” America started, England quick to cut him off.

“America, look. I obviously can’t let her under the wing with Scotland and Ireland, because they trained her to be a policewoman, not a detective. And Netherlands is too new to already have a partner, not to mention the rest of them… which leaves you.” The conversation went on like that. England persisting and America denying, meanwhile the girl sat awkwardly in silence.

“Why? Why me? You could’ve literally chosen anyone else. Just because I’m a good cop doesn’t mean I want a damn partner.” America growled, England exhaled, getting off his desk.

“America, your the best in our field. She was top of her class. She needs good guidance,  _actual_ guidance. Look, I only really trust you in this department. So I’m begging please just this once.”

“Fine. On the condition that once you think someone else can take her. She goes.” America finished, England sighed frustrated rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Fine. Show her around and to your office, it’s where she’ll work for now.” England grumbled, waving his hand for them to get out. 

They both do, the girl coming out last before America slammed the chief’s office’s door shut, making her jump. Ireland leaning against the door next to it. Going to take the doorknob of the Chief’s office.

“Remember to use a Jimmy-” America joked, Ireland scoffed, mumbling so the girl didn’t hear. _‘not_ _like I can get pregnant anyway.’_ America cackled, letting him pass.

America sighed, started walking the girl tattling along. “So- uh, what’s your name?” America asked awkwardly. The girl sped up a little, so she was walking beside him. She let a small whimper of a voice out.

“Japan.” America nodded, knowing that name quite well. But it seemed different from the person he knew as Japan. America looked down at the girl again. This can’t be the Japan  _he_ knows. She doesn’t even look like she’ll hurt a fly. America shook his head, he’ll think about it later. Right now he’s got to deal with this girl.


End file.
